A day before hari raya

Yeah raya is tomorow. now i can relaxx from school work .

just w8ting for the PMR to past.

then i can "PONTENG"hahahahaa

who want to join me ..

hye guys dun forget bagi aq duit rye .....

The reason i call my life a living hell

Althought i suppose to live a happy life .

i can't with all the stress coming from my family and life issue

from my family is my mom,little brother and my little sister

they always hurting my feeling but not supporting me like all family should.

sometime when i see somebody who his family cheer him on i feel sad while my family dun even cheer me on

when sport days when i won the 2 gold medal for lontar peluru dan lempar cakera they dun even look happy when i show them the medal

when my UPSR result i got 3A' and 2B' my mother didn't even care about it and tell me to work hard get 5A'

when my little brother got 5A' she tell all her friend and didn't say a word about me.

when my mother know my little brother got 5A' she hurriedly go buy him a WII console

i felt like i was never exist and i felt left alone in my life.

while my little brother treat me like i am his maid or something call me stupid and always bragging about his UPSR result.

while in school , i got bullied ,called names and lot more from my primary to secondary.

when i was in primary my mom said no fighting .

when i got punch i didn't even fight back they call me a loser ,a fatass and many more.

and when my mom come to school they call me mommy boy.

when i got in secondary i change alot i gone much more evil inside of me then what i feel in my primary times.

i began to fight more and get more and more aggressive than ever.

till one day i almost choke my friend to death.

i keep hearing voice in my head to killed all that hurting you.

Trust of a mother of mine gone

Today i felt so sad when my mum call and tell i took her 50 dollor

i think my mum lost trust in me .

that trust is hard to get but now she think i'm a theif or some kind or criminal.

this is so bad and i think i should run away to somewhere.

i feel so sad deep inside of me

this is the feeling that i didn't want to feel again since 3 years ago.

where i found my mother rm10000+ ring behinde the sofa and she said i stole it and hid there

she didn't believe me and she keep she scolded me to tell her the truth but she think i'm lying

i wished that i die early.

the next day she apologize to me about the scolding

i said "i forgive you" but my heart said "i will never forgive you for that"

i got lots of bruise and line on my back because she whack me with belt.

till now i still can't forget that day and i still wish i die...